I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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