i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
