think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
