I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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