Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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