therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
