No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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