i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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