My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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