i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she told me i tasted like america
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
