i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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