I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
