I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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