he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
