Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
