absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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