I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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