I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
