They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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