I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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