sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
