Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
