do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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