i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
