I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Of course I have a pirate flag
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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