you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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