quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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