actually, I'm a sock model
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
