eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
