i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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