It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
im holly from the hills drunk
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
