I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Text me some of your sweat
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
