i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
