handjob tips. give me some.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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