So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
