I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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