i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
