everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
