bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
