Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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