I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
