I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Do vagina's smell?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
