hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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