Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
