I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
