Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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