Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
