i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
