are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
