omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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