please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
