Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
