Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
