I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He called his prostate his "boner button".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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