New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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