Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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