Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
