Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I love having hate sex.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
