that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
