also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
