Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize