i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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