Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
