Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Who died my cat blue again?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
