the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
