smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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