I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Randomize
