Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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