I need help removing her.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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